Dead Men Don't Bite Back

by Jared Morris & The Nice Price

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about

Most of the songs on "Dead Men Don't Bite Back" were intended for the scrapped Jared Morris album "Mr. Rhythm's Good Advice." Originally recorded in late 2018. Unhappy with the final mixes of the prior album, Jared hired an outside producer to remix and track the album in November of 2018, hoping for a March 2019 release. However as months passed and Jared had not received any mixes from the producer, Jared began to feel less and less enthusiastic about the project.

In the meantime, he continued working on new songs with My Version of It, he finished recording the Doctor Goose album "Good for the Gander" and wrote and recorded 22 songs for Shit Kittens for their debut album (due 2020)

After producing the heavier focused Doctor Goose album and Shit KIttens demos, Jared decided to take another look at the yet unfinished Mr Rhythm's Good Advice album. He had been pondering re-recording the drums for the album and started with a few demos. Liking the results, he began rewriting some of the songs and officially scrapped Mr. Rhythm's album in August in favor of the new approach to the songs.

Though the album has been largely rerecorded, there are still a few tracks that were saved. The vocals and keyboards in the song "Traci Lords" (now retitled "Mr. Rhythm's Good Advice") and the keyboards for "You're Cool Now" were taken from the original album.

LIkewise, "Oh Hey" though changed from Am to A major and sped up, the song's original lyrics are mainly unaltered and the song preserved part of a sample from the original version. This appears near the end of the track.

"Don't Open 'Til Leap Day" is a complete rewrite of the song "Coastal Highway" with shortened lyrics and a new chorus.

"1 Mississippi" is a rerecorded new version of a song called "Devil's Tollbooth Blues" where the lyrics and chords are mostly left in tact.

"Middle Age" started life as a drumless dirge in 3/4 time. Here, The Nice Price switched it to 4/4 timing and took it from the original key or Em to it's relative G major. The lyrics are mostly the same as the original, but the song is completely re-recorded. This song saw the most radical rewrites besides "Leap Day" and took 5 demos to get it right.

"Valediction" is played at the same tempo and same key as the original and the lyrics are mostly the same. The original song contained a prominent keyboard part and a 1999 era Prince inspired drum track. Both were removed. The song is heavier than it's predecessor and is the only song on the album to feature an acoustic guitar.

"Everybody Hates The Shit I Do" and "Escape Hatch" are new songs written after the original album version was completed.

"Now We Are All Sons of Bitches" was originally written for Jared's other band My Version of It in 2002. It remained on the shelf and was considered for his 2016 album "Black Dictum". Here, it is rewritten and set to a casio drum track along with samples from various public domain health and human safety videos from the 1950s about radio, dating, work accidents and nuclear fallout.

"I Hate You (from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home)" is the album's lone cover version. Taken from the bus scene in the Paramount film "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home", The song was written by producers and writers of the film and performed by the fictitious punk band Edge of Etiquette in the film. The song also appeared in the Annette Funicello film "Back to the Beach." This is the full version of the song not heard in the movie in it's entirety.

credits

released October 10, 2019

Recorded in Georgetown DE 7/15/19 - 9/15/19
All songs written by Jared Morris and The Nice Price
except "I Hate You (from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home)" by Kirk Thatcher and Mark Mangini originally performed by Edge of Etiquette

Mixed and Mastered by Jared and the Nice Price in September 2019.
Artwork painted by Sexfinger

license

all rights reserved

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about

10x Records New Castle, Delaware

Home of Jared Morris, the singer/guitarist for successful punk rock trio My Version of It.

His solo work represents other sides of the artist including is affection for works in the public domain and interest in the avant garde.

He also hosts a rock 'n roll radio show and has published a book (Journal-ism) which graphic artist Jon Groobz described as "a literary crossword puzzle."
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Track Name: Everybody Hates The Shit I Do
Today a drop of semen, tomorrow a pile of Ash
I sound like I look, like I'm about to crash
My hands are made of briar my heart is broken glass
Lets get down to business; I'm in it for the cash

The world is full of hazzards, the drains are full of clogs
I here to discuss your hygenine not hear your monologues
The pigs are in the meadow pretending to be frogs
The devil's in the ghetto slow dancing with the fog

Everybody hates the shit I do
Rip thinks the worms are too good for you

Eating broth made from a thorn bush, bread made from cement
This is what we get for being arrogant
There's monsters in the hallway, but we're invisible to them
I was impressed the prison mess was so decadent

Everything I make is a waste of energy
Don't get caught up in my wake, its an emergency
I'm trying to relate, but I'm doing it poorly
You're more foreign to me now then you ever meant to be

Everybody hates the shit I do
Rip thinks the worms are too good for you you you

I dared a generation to rob me of my soul
I'm not sure I have one, but man I'm on a roll
I've said ten thousand words that will someday take a toll
How could I know the future would be so emotional?

I never had instructions on how this should go
Amidst all this destruction, you'd think by now I'd know
Some day you'll find these songs and say "another one of those
That spent his life composing and all his time alone"

Everybody hates the shit I do
Rip says the worms are too good for you
Maybe I'm not well adapted
Success depends upon being well crafted
If it were up to me I'd never leave my room
Track Name: Mr. Rhythm's Good Advice
An ocean made of plastic
It’s fantastic
Elastic
Body lotion
Drastic
Coca Cola Classic
What’s the commotion?
Whip it out, a devotion
To a souvenir Sphinx,
It’s not what you think
That’s how it goes
The Colossus of Rhodes
Why are the pyramids
Made of Emma stone?
So alone
Tossed around by primitives
Traction unlimited
Insignificant
Don’t pretend
In a decade we’ll be them
What fun
Making bricks out of mud
In the back yard fly a grass hut to Mars
I used to be nice
I used to shoot dice
I used to watch Spice
Between blurry lines
"Don’t let your dick run your life"
That’s Mr. Rhythm's good advice
I’ll never win a Moon Man
You know the end is too soon, man
Eating jelly with a spoon, man
And here I change my tune, man
Knee deep in brackish water
From the first time I saw her
I could tell she was our daighter
The cops finally caught her
Tryin' to steal a flying saucer
I tried to fix her headphone jack
But I couldn’t find the solder
I used to be inside her
A Large Hadron Collider
Diet pop or cherry cider
Bright and getting brighter
You just want to fuck her
But I’m a super conductor
She said "I suck
But I’m no sucker"
Life in Vineland
Garbage islands
As big as Texas, it doesn’t vex us, solar plexus
Don’t correct us
Artificial fishes granting wishes
Eat a Rubber Ring, it’s so delicious
Dirty dishes,
Sid vicious, the fictitious
Member of the Sex Pistols
Dr Jones, can i get a witness
Blister pack, Jack Rabbit, Magic Jack
Giving all the mermaids a thrill
Water pistols, shoot to kill
Easter toys made in China
Winding up on Easter Island.
Oh Poseidon
Whats my sign man?
You look good in that polyester
Tits like Carol Hester's
Spanish boots of imitation leather

A West Marine ocean tether
Under the weather
A real treasure
Let’s keep it together
But I never met her
It'd be her pleasure
Red sky at night
Sailor’s delight
Make it lewd
We both eat seafood
Not a lot
Marianas Trench, full of pop tops, crop tops,
Straws and cyclops
psi-ops
Sneaky strong corporate cops
It’s glorious
Shiva is furious
You're ignoring us
Who is victorious?
Could it be that there’s more of us.
Soda jerkers, bottom lurkers, phony burkas
Our legacy sexting the police
In an emergency
Toss your phone into the sea
Turn on its GPS
That’s how we’ll reconnect
Self contained under water breathing apparatus
Strapped to a cactus
And hung on the lattice
What’s your marital status?
Meet me at lake
Tell me what’s at stake?
This is our life electric
Lost in the wake
Living with you was a piece of cake

Protect i or wreck it.
Intersect it or reject it
No belief in magic
Everyone is bored.
The only one that’s real here is Traci Lords

The last time I saw you
You said your were done with all the voodoo
Praise be the Ancients of Mu Mu
With your guru, planning what to do
But for me, I’m with Vishnu
Im with the avatars of Krishna
Hare Rama but I still miss you
In all the trauma
That we’ve been through
The bottle’s empty
It doesn’t tempt me
I'm your ghost
But who sent me
I can’t repay what you lent me
Resent me
I’ve got plenty
Tia Dalma
And the late Brian DePalma
Spoke at my alma mater
We got lost in the Bahamas
I voted for Barack Obama
And I'm sick of all the drama
No quarter
For what I didn’t order
Hoarders cross the boarders
Make way for the reporters
Looking for supporters
That was when I could ignore her
New jersey
Don’t worry
I can’t see
It's getting blurry
This motel smells like curry
Time to go now
We better hurry
Manic Preachers in the bleachers
No one’s teachers
Double features and new sneakers
I used the wrong wire and I blew out the speakers
Pleasure seekers and secret leakers of
New Wave Hookers
Pressure cookers
Crooked onlookers
Cookin' the Bookers
You had your own but then you took hers
Could it bewhat shook her?
Poor old Jimbo
Dead and gone
Buried with his boots still on
Found him in a French church lawn
Mojo risin' with the dawn
Why save it, we can throw it away
Its okay
I heard you say
You're gonna be next Sasha Grey
Or Dorian Gray
In DeLorean grey
Tattle O’Day
We had a band and we wanted to play
No pay. One Way
Lay Lady Lay
Time For Noisy USA
Hitachi, you know every make
Hibachi, you came to eat steak
You said that its gonna be great
Put on the breaks
It's not 1998
I am awake
Car hops in skates
Know my name for goodness sakes
I do what it takes
Easy as cakes
I can spot all these fakes
Save your grief, I'm a common thief
Save me a seat on the Great Barrier Reef
Don’t eat meat, it’s okay if you cheat
You're past your prime but is that a crime?
If there's time I can stop on a dime
That’s about all I can afford
All this other noise can be ignored
Don’t act like you don’t know the score

Artificial platelets
Everybody fakes it
Everyone is bored
The only one that’s real here
Is Traci Lords
Track Name: 1 Mississippi
I'm got one Mississippi
Man, it's killing me
Fast track to Codeine withdrawal
Man, it's killing me
I'm on that fox's Soboxine
You're on a corporate retreat

I got those Chinese fingers
Driving me insane
Subscribe to Bastards Monthly
Drives a man insane
I got them part-time Sundays
You've got them holidays paid

I got two Mississippi
I ain't got nowhere left to be
We worked for tipsy Christians
He's got that Bible scene
I danced with dripping hippies
Trespass on private property

I still have my 8th grade notebook
I got troubles when you go
Cause I miss my baby
I got troubles when you go
I got that I know who I am
You got that we barely made it through

I'm on that three Mississippi
Can't be your candy man
You got that sugar gas tank
Can't be your candy man
He wore that Soma coma
You're on that family healthcare plan

I've got a restaurant nightmare
I have those kitchen blues
I too them April showers
Cold as her heart is too
You got that Ashley Plaza
You got that Tony Atlas, too

I've got four Mississippi
You got that Davy Jones
I got that evening checkpoint
Send me back Dr. Jones
I got that hard denial
You got that backwoods moan

You got that stolen paycheck
I want you to see my room
I am the genuine article
Come see my room
You got that ugly watch dog
You got them sandy Eggo blues

I've got 5 Mississippi
You got that jelly roll
Watch out for uneven pavement
Man, watch that jelly roll
I got that red rock ramblin'
You go that barely hanging low

I got that flash flood warning
Ain't go those training wheels
I got that Monday ratchet
Break off those training wheels
I got a tattoo story
You got them kitten heels

I got 666 Mississippi
Open up and spread it wide
You and your model airplane
Come take a peek inside
I got your pre-flight checklist
You've got Samantha Mathis smile

Well I met the devil at Chelsea Manor Park
I saw him skate the jumps at Chelsea Manor Park
I got the deal of a lifetime
Can you tell the two of us apart
Track Name: Middle Age
I heard that it can be argued
That you are the living proof
Work hard and sacrifice too
You will be rewarded

Maybe for some this is true
But it didn't work for me for you
When everything we make or to do
Is gone or distorted.

Now nobody sees U.F.O.s
And there's nowhere new for us to go
And even if we wanted too though
We couldn't afford it

Your heroes have killed themselves yes
On purpose or by accident
Now the only ones that we have left
Are no longer touring

Oh middle age
Oh middle age

Its the silver anniversary
But feels like it was yesterday
In that time we've not had much to say
This is our life our life at 40

There's nothing new under the sun
The killer is still on the run
You're not even sure how to get shit done
Help me, Mr. Gordy.

Do machines know how to think?
What would they think of your kinks?
And what you do when you're all alone
Would they support it?

You know its true so cop to it
But you don't know when to quit
Floating in space like the Voyager 6
Un-escorted

Oh middle age
Oh middle age

The jokers are wild and suicidal
There are no hall passes here just crocodiles
No Popsicles
Obstacles
Ways to the hospital
Take a big bite out and smile

Bobby Eaton the great, is late for a date
On Jupiter Station and I can relate.
I don't know what they mean by a zero sum game
But you win when I lose again and again

I've had enough and I'm calling your bluff
With the god of gods oh Supreme Krishna
We chant your names a holy mantra
Hare Hare

We parked outside of Morrissey's house
With no intention of getting out
Or ringing the bell or starting to shout
I don't think he saw me

I've had my share of water and gin
With Miracle Mike the Headless Chicken
Before we reach mars in the end
Repeat back my safe word again

I keep missing my favorite bands live
You don't even tell me they're gonna arrive
But man it looked like a good time
Philly;s not really that far of a drive


Oh middle age
Oh middle age

I'll meet you at the Hoover Dam
You'll know it's me by what I have planned.
At least I'll have somewhere to land.
Make way boys

I'm here watching for ghosts again
But no matter how high I am
When I close my eyes and count to ten
I never meet them

So, ready or not here I come
I have wishes, 1001
But none of them sound like much fun
So its your choice

I never managed to have any kids
Where I sit, the couch smells like cat piss
It's true it's as good as it gets
Hallelujah

The jokers are wild and suicidal
There are no hall passes here just crocodiles
No Popsicles
Obstacles
Ways to the hospital
Take a big bite out and smile

Friday the 13th won't show me no mercy
There's nothing left of me here Mr. Deputy
The safe is empty it just sits there tempting me
Lock me inside and swallow the key
Track Name: Don't Open 'Til Leap Day
You said just be yourself
I don’t like myself that much
You said love yourself first
I think that that's enough

And after all we've done
this is all we get
I was looking for some action
I am my own assassin

And the shit I used to like
Don't seem worth my time
I see myself in you
I think that we should screw

You're in The Big Bubble
In school they called you trouble
Outside it's just rubble
I've mastered being subtle

Stand in line and be on time

I was looking of the sun
And that's when time just stopped
That's when the plot thickened
But I just felt sickened

I can't get a job here.
They all talked to each other
I'll have to change my name
Just to get an offer

There's pictures of her I
Some clear and some are hazy
You said you were an optimist
I said that your just lazy

I want to leave the place I live
Do you need a reason?
I try to do it right
I guilty of high treason

Stand in line and be on time

You said keep up the fight
The devil's getting dressed
He looks a lot like me
But I'm not impressed

You've been gone so long
I’m almost used to it
I don’t know whats true these days
I talk so much shit

I’ve been playing so long
I have arthritis in my fingers
I’m not great on guitar she said
Nor are you a good singer

I’m gonna set my car on fire
To get some heat to linger
I'll swing on a chandelier
And mimic The Snakefinger

Stand in line and be on time

Because its in my nature
Nature’s got me in a trance
She left me her number
Saying thanks for the romance

When I leave I'll leave a note
Don't open it until December
Maybe then it will make sense
By then you may remember

She held on to my hand
When I took my last breath
She rolled her eyes and sighed and said
Can’t we get on with this

If you see me on the road
Pretend it isn't me
I'll do the same for you
Like it was meant to be

Stand in line and be on time

I'll keep working
I'll keep working
I'll keep working
I'll keep working
Track Name: I Hate You (from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home)
Just where is our future?
The thing's we've done and said
Let's just push the button
We'd be better off dead

'Cause I hate you
And I berate you
And I can't wait to get to you

The sins of all the fathers
Being dumped on us, the sons
The only choice we're given
Is how many megatons

And I eschew you
And I say screw you
And I hope you're blue, too

We're all bloody worthless
Just greedy human scum
The numbers all add up
To a negative sum

'Cause I hate you
Yes, I hate you
And I hate you, too

But where is our future
The thing's we've done and said
Let's just push the button
We'd be better off dead

'Cause I hate you
And I berate you
And I can't wait to get to you

The sins of all the fathers
Being dumped on all the sons
The only choice we're given
Is how many megatons

Blow it all to bloody, fucking hell
Track Name: Escape Hatch
Escape hatch

Where did it all go wrong
It's a disaster
The paint is peeling off the walls
Down to bare plaster

Do you hear the jungle drums
Warn of an attacker?
They confuse your senses dull
Your pulse is racing faster

I can't get the escape hatch open
Be careful which way it swings
I'm not certain but I'm hoping
Beware the doll that sings

Where did it all go wrong?
The woods are becoming soundless
We're jumping in dry leaves
While mute panic surrounds us

Where did it all go wrong?
I thought we'd planned it better
She wanted to stay out night
But her parents wouldn't let her

I can't get the escape hatch open
Be careful which way it swings
The deck is soaked, the latch is broken
The gates of hell are string

When did it all go wrong?
You were fucking a cheerleader
Because she'd cheer you on
No matter how you'd treat her

When did it all go south?
This storm is a disaster
Stop here and hear me out
I thought I could out last her

I can't get the escape hatch open
I took a pill for block the sun
I took another and now i'm hoping
To forget that you're the one

I can't get the escape hatch open
All other options are closed
I can't get the escape hatch open
We weren't safe, we weren't even close.
Track Name: Oh Hey
Can you feel time pushing, pushing back on you?
It's natural to do
What do you think would happen if came with him
Did you think you'd be on top forever
Sonny Jim?

Brace yourself for the coming storm
Sit close we'll both stay warm
and If I prepare it makes it real
And then I'd prefer it surprise me still c'est vieux

Oh, hey
Haven't I seen you before
Let's sneak outside of the back door
and we can leave together
Oh, hey

I'm stranded at Base Camp on Everest
How'd I get myself into this?
Trouble's on the horizon like we feared
Chaos is rising in the atmosphere
That much is clear

When I see you it's actuallement déja vu
And then the air leaves the room
And then just like that you don't give a damn
Everyone make way For the big flim flam
Just like we planned

Oh, hey
Haven't I seen you before
I gave you a lift to The Barn Door
I've known you forever
Oh, hey

Oh, hey
Haven't I seen you before
let's sneak out of the back door
and we can be together
Oh, hey.

Oh, hey
You seemed so susprised to hear my voice
It's been so long, you didn't have a choice
I lost you forever
Oh, hey
Track Name: Valediction
Let me tell you what I like
Luna Blue and Michael Stipe
The moon is high and So am I
If you weren't so uptight
You could spend the night

We're leaving late
And the road is rough
I wish my love for you would've been enough

It's different now
That Joe is gone
He had a pretty girl from
Vietnam
I tried to go out and
Get one of my own
But every time I came
Her boyfriend came home

The last time you wrote you didn't sign it love
You signed "I wish my love for you would've been enough"
I wish my love for you would've been enough

I've been told that I'm no good
Been think of movin'
Maybe I should
In California
They're growing grapes
The only thing growing
Here is more mistakes

It's reach for God or to hell with it all
I wish my love would've been enough, that's all

We drown is spirits
And are scared of men
Shaking hands with the newly dead
I want to go back and try again
"If you mess with time, it messes back," you said

When things got tough you really called my bluff
I wish my love for you would've been enough
I wish my love for you would've been enough
Track Name: Now We Are All Sons of Bitches
Maybe someday Sons of bitches will pay
Maybe someday sons of bitches will pay
Maybe someday sons of bitches will pay
Maybe someday sons of bitches will pay

I really wanted to make this record sound good, so I hired a guy to mix it to fix it. 8 months later I saw him playing on stage with Mike mills and he still didn't have anything for me. Didn't even introduce me to Kurt Bloch, what a crock. Seemed embarrassed to know me. He should be

I wonder every day if I made a mistake leaving my last job – that's a long time to do anything, I never let it define me, which was fine by me but now I feel stuck in the country, off the map, everyone is moving all over the world. Going to LA, to LV, to LDS to LSD and look at me. Sleeping on the floor. Nothing more. I remind myself that I didn't have any time or money when I worked there either. Only difference is now I have time to fixate on my many mistakes. I've had the same PA for 20 years. My amp shorted it out when I was trying to fix it. I can't afford to buy another. Same drums. Same three guitars. I look up and see Same stars. From the same Car. Parked at the same lame bar

I started taking these pills to replace the other better pills, and I don't like how either made me me feel. Nothing is real. Too many coincidences. But when I'm in the think of It, sick of it, I'm not as angry as I was. But maybe I should be. My therapist told me that I was just standing up for myself and I did the Fucking right thing. That's how she put it too. The Fucking right thing. Okay. Sounds good, what now?

I can't even imagine an audience for my shit. That homeless guy said we were ahead of our time then split, his cousin hanged himself and that our time has not come... look at what we've done. It's out of time. Out of time and out of time. If I'd realized in my 20s that I was as messed up as I am what would I have done by now? now I fill guilty just reading. Grieving not leaving believing that we'd still have time. I imagine myself in ten years and I can't see myself anywhere except Sleeping in the streets. In the warehouse under sheets. No heat. And although I see it coming, I don't know how to stop it. Over the hill side. Just out of sight.

If the reads like my manifesto, presto, get it off my chesto, if you're not impressed go. Make up the rest for yourself. If you made it this far. Hi. Hello.

Fuck mental illness for holding me hostage. I can't count how many times I've seriously lost it. Fuck getting up at 5am just to get up to go to work again. Fuck not being able to sleep without drugs. Even then, most nights it's not enough. Fuck you guys that go to church and thinks it's a free pass to behave even worse. Fuck your snide comments and crooked looks. Fuck ratings books. Fuck you ror ruining the Hall of Presidents and me for not being in The Residents.

Fuck hip hop where they only rap about pussy and cars they can't afford. There's gotta be something else to live for? No doubt. Fuck shitty pop songs, the ones by children or rich parents and the ones all written by the same dude or your producer tryin' a fuck you. You're tripping over each other to be the next Lorde? What for? A chore. Fuck genre rock just copying the same shit over and over. I can't tell you a part. Take one good idea and beat it the Fuck to death. Fuck that pretentious indie shit you hear on XPN. With bands names read like a Stienbeck novel. Let's all go see Cannery Row. They sound just like you think, you know. All technique no soul. Fuck you folk music pricks saying you support local artists. Fuck you for pretending I don' exist. Not good enough for your playlist. Won't even respond to my letters. Fuck the private clubs that I don't know the passwords to. Fuck the music industry for ignoring you. Web sites and zines and blogs and bars – ReverbNation, SonicBids, Radio Carbon Dating. Polarize the motherfucking hull plating. Fuck me for never learning how to relate. Fuck my bands for missing too many dates and for being influenced by bands that everybody hates. Real smart. Just great. I have too much on my plate. My amp is an orange crate

Maybe someday Sons of bitches will pay
Maybe someday sons of bitches will pay
Maybe someday sons of bitches will pay
Maybe someday sons of bitches
Track Name: You're Cool Now
I loved sweet Sara Jane
But when I met here she didn’t use her real name
I don't know her but I remember her face
I wonder if she ever thinks of this place

I worked in a fish bowl just for a day
I didn't know I'd have to work with snakes
I jumped the tanks and swim with the rays
That's how Steve Irwin died on videotape

That's how it sometimes goes
Life is a magic show
Going too fast or either too slow

That's how it always is
Life is just taking a piss
No reward but so much risk

I love Shirley McClain
Some Came Running and some stayed the same
She played a dancer and she played a trick
The way she died in that made me sick

Life's just a lava flow
Disrupting a fashion show
Deciding too late it's time to go

Life is a tidal wave you
With nobody left to save
At least you can say that you were brave

Although we had to go
Before the stars explode
It was better that way you know
The cracks barely show

So, I'll see you there at last
Man we had a blast
It was a hell of a black mass
If anyone asks

I love being out on a limb
On a Jungle Jim or on Vicodin
Here comes Father Russell and he lookin' quite grim
You right I kind of look like him

Life is a grinding halt
A full frontal full on assault
Its easy to pretend it's not your fault

Life is just an avalanche
Alone and without your pants
This is what we call romance
Track Name: You're Cool Now (Not Dead Yet Version)
I loved sweet Sara Jane
But when I met here she didn’t use her real name
I don't know her but I remember her face
I wonder if she ever thinks of this place

I worked in a fish bowl just for a day
I didn't know I'd have to work with snakes
I jumped the tanks and swim with the rays
That's how Steve Irwin died on videotape

That's how it sometimes goes
Life is a magic show
Going too fast or either too slow

That's how it always is
Life is just taking a piss
No reward but so much risk

I love Shirley McClain
Some Came Running and some stayed the same
She played a dancer and she played a trick
The way she died in that made me sick

Life's just a lava flow
Disrupting a fashion show
Deciding too late it's time to go

Life is a tidal wave you
With nobody left to save
At least you can say that you were brave

Although we had to go
Before the stars explode
It was better that way you know
The cracks barely show

So, I'll see you there at last
Man we had a blast
It was a hell of a black mass
If anyone asks

I love being out on a limb
On a Jungle Jim or on Vicodin
Here comes Father Russell and he lookin' quite grim
You right I kind of look like him

Life is a grinding halt
A full frontal full on assault
Its easy to pretend it's not your fault

Life is just an avalanche
Alone and without your pants
This is what we call romance

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